I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
