he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
