apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
