so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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