Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
