If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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