I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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