hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
