A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
