State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
