We're like a lot better than the average bears
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
