Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
