But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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