i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
