KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
