Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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