I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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