im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize