im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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