Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
