Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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