Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
