So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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