idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
