GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
