i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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