you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
