My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize