the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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