Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize