Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
