I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize