What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
