just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Drunk is not a location!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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