i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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