my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
