I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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