FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
