i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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