And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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