I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
