So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize