Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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