I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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