i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize