So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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