She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize