I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
