my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You did what with his pubic hair?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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