"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
