that's an acceptable place to lick
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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