he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Randomize
