i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
