Don't you send me to vm
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
