But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
