Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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