Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
