wanna go halves on a baby?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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