remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
