I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So vagazzling was a success
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
